By Amelia Mola
When we open our social media apps, our screens are often flooded with reels and images of people trying the best Italian food in the city – claiming access to places that offer the ultimate in Italian lifestyle, paying premium prices for food that might often be no better than a jar of Prego sauce.
I must admit, I’m guilty of falling for this at times, and getting swept away by the excitement of experiencing a beautiful new restaurant surrounded by elegant strangers bathed in moody light, seated at pristinely appointed tables, each movement a polished gesture in a performance – momentarily forgetting how easily style can masquerade as soul. Today, this isn’t a food story about a brand new Italian restaurant – it’s a story about family, women, and food – about love, taking care of each other, and keeping family traditions alive and thriving throughout generations of pasta pomodoro, cuzzupe, and zeppole recipes. It’s a window into the Italian lifestyle at its most heartfelt and authentic expression.
But maybe we’re missing authenticity by ignoring what’s in our own homes, or our families’ homes. These meals and recipes passed along generations carry more…they carry history, the stories of our families, moments in time, and most of all – love. That’s the whole point – isn’t it?
— AMELIA MOLA
A few months ago, scrolling through my Instagram explore page, I came across a video of a young woman and her Nonna making taralli. For those of you who don’t know what taralli are – they are the quintessential snack of Italian aperitivo hour. Crunchy, sometimes accompanied by fennel seeds, paired perfectly with olives, and better yet, with an Aperol spritz – these beloved bites are the south’s version of a twisted breadstick, elevated. And, like all things Italian, the best ones you can get your hands on aren’t served at a bar, they’re made by hand, at home, with love. In my family’s hometown near Bari, my Zia would order me packages of taralli made by a woman in our town. I’d frantically layer my clothing so I had room in my backpack to smuggle these treasures in my oversized baggage, unbeknownst to Ryanair.
Needless to say, I love these beautiful, circular rings,and when I saw this creator, who goes by the name of ‘Chef Stef’ baking my faves – I was completely captivated. Months went by, and when I started writing for VeraVita, I knew I wanted to approach Chef Stef and write about her cooking with her Nonna.
It wasn’t until Easter of this year, that I realized our six degrees of separation. Sitting on the couch with my Nonna after Easter lunch, a video of Stef and her Nonna had popped up on my Instagram feed. I showed my Nonna, who excitedly said ‘That’s Filomena, she’s in my bingo club!’. Not only did our Nonna’s play bingo at the same social club, but they immigrated to Canada from the same town – Triggiano. Of course, because all Italians really do know each other, it would seem. “Okay, I really need to reach out to Stef”, I said to myself.
When Stef and I connected on the phone, it felt like talking to an old friend, or a distant cousin who you just found out you’re related to. We agreed on a day to meet and sit down for an interview, with her Nonna, of course.
I pulled up to Rustic Bakery to meet the cooking duo. Walking arm in arm, Stef and Nonna Filomena sat down, and as we began to chat, it became evident that the bond these two share is not just one on camera, but one that runs deeply between them, their matching blue eyes darting loving looks at one another.
I always tell everyone that she’s my best friend. The beauty of these videos is that I can see her live and I can look back on them one day and say, ‘Oh my God, I made these memories with my Nonna and I have the videos’, and it’ll always be as special as it was the first time.
— STEFANI POCI
By day, Stefani Poci is working on finishing nursing school. When she’s not in clinic, practicum, or the classroom – she’s Chef Stef, a self-taught (or should I say, family taught) cook who loves everything about being in the kitchen, Italian lifestyle, and Italian culture. Filomena Mininni, or ‘Nonna Flo’, as she’s known in Stef’s Instagram videos, came to Canada in 1968 by boat, arriving in Halifax at Pier 21.
“Growing up, I would literally pull up a chair and watch my dad or my Nonna when they were in the kitchen. I was just fascinated by what they were doing”, Stef explained.
Both Stef’s mom and dad were born in Italy. Growing up surrounded by the language, the richness of Italian culture, and of course the food – lit a fire in this young chef to pick up a knife of her own.
Cooking by age six, Stef explained “By age 10 I’d perfected the omelette, and by age 12 I was cooking dinner for my family every night. It just became my thing, I assumed that role of cooking dinner, and nothing’s changed now that I’m 21.”
As is typical in Italian culture, Nonna Filomena took care of Stef and her older sister, Alessandra, before they were old enough to go to school. I asked Nonna Flo what the first thing she remembers making Stef – and she laughed and said “baby food!”
“When she [Stef] was a baby, her mom gave me some jars of baby food to feed her during the day. It made Stef throw up! I told my daughter, ‘Don’t buy that garbage!’. So that day, I cooked some chicken and some carrots, put it in the blender, and made her homemade baby food. She was never sick again.”
All three of us laughing at this story, it became clearer to me that this passion for cooking from scratch, for making high quality food for those that you love, was born directly out of Nonna Flo’s heart, and their reverent ties to their Italian lifestyle.
Stef has been running her cooking Instagram account since 2020, gaining over 12,000 followers, and growing weekly. Including Nonna was an intuitive move. As Stef continued to work on her recipe development and online presence, she wondered why she wouldn’t feature the woman who inspired her so much.
“We’ve always cooked together, so I figured why not film her [Nonna Flo’s] recipes so we could have them in a way that’s more than just paper and something to always look back on. It was more for memories than anything else. The first ever video was cartellate (a classic Barese dessert served at Christmas) which I knew had to be done, because it’s a big tradition we’ve always had with her, my mom, my sister and I.”
It took a bit of convincing on Stef’s end to get Nonna Flo on board, she told me. “At first she didn’t understand why we were talking to a phone but once she saw how the video turned out and all the love it got, she was like ‘Madonna, I don’t believe it!’”.
Right after filming their first video together, Nonna Flo had an emergency surgery, giving the family quite the scare. “I remember saying to myself, ‘thank god I have that video!’ Because life can change in a second, and at the end of the day all we have is pictures and memories.” Since then, the duo has been hard at work, shooting beautiful food videos, from Raviolo al Uovo to Focaccia Barese.
Thousands of views and shares on Instagram later, Nonna Flo is now recognized by some friends at her social club for the cooking she and Stef do. “When I go to bingo, some people come up to me saying ‘Filomena – I saw you on Instagram making pizza and panzerotti!’ I always say yes, I do it with my granddaughter, and it makes her happy – it’s all for her.”
But as Stef noted, working on this project together has given Nonna Flo a new sense of life, too. “She always says, ‘oh my God, I thought my life was over’. And now, it’s like a whole new beginning for her. She was shy before, but now, she knows when she comes to my house, and then the camera goes on, it’s time to work – it’s given her a new sense of purpose.”
Sharing recipes and working together in the kitchen has given these two women a chance to learn from each other as well. Nonna Flo cooks with the classic and traditional techniques that her mother taught her, but Stef brings different approaches to recipes the duo love to make, like their taralli. While the classic Barese approach is to bake them in the oven, Stef found a new way to give them a shiny finish – by briefly boiling them first. “It’s been nice to open her up to new ways of doing things, but really, she’s taught me everything”, Stef said.
What is this duo’s favourite thing to make together? The decision was unanimous – panzerotti, a classic dish of southern Italian summer. “When we make panzerotti, it’s really like a full day event. Making the dough, rolling it out, stuffing it with fresh mozzarella, tomatoes, parmigiano, and sometimes mortadella. It’s a long day, but it’s definitely our favourite.”
But whatever the occasion, or the dish they’re making, the essence of everything they do is about the time spent together in the kitchen.
“I always tell everyone that she’s [Nonna Flo] my best friend. The beauty of these videos is that I can see her live and I can look back on them one day and say, ‘Oh my God, I made these memories with my Nonna and I have the videos’, and it’ll always be as special as it was the first time.”
Stef continues: “I always say how Nonna’s are one of a kind, and once that generation goes, so many traditions will disappear with them unless we preserve them.”
Going back to the beginning – we’re flooded with images, videos, and people we don’t know telling us where to eat, what’s the best pizza and pasta – what’s the most authentic. But maybe we’re missing authenticity by ignoring what’s in our own homes, or our families’ homes. These meals and recipes passed along generations carry more currency than sitting at a fancy downtown restaurant can. They carry history, the stories of our families, moments in time, and most of all – love. That’s the whole point – isn’t it? – VV
